my husband is obsessed with his son{ keyword }

I was obviously upset that he started planning this big project wihout consulting with me but he assured me that it would be something he does in his spare time.well if I knew spare time means he spreads out outdoor chores over the course of the entire weekend so that he doesnt have to leave the house and in between he works on the truck in the driveway I never would have agreed. I massively reduced the plans and costs when we found out we were expecting) Its not on the road as every time its mentioned I stop work. My husband and I have been married 27 years and it has always been this way for us. He was my rock when I cared for my dying parents for the last 3 years. I cant even call it a hobby. All I can take away from this is that men are disappointing, selfish and sometimes cruel. He lies, steals and cheats to hunt year-round with multi-millionaires. They are scared of losing your attention to someone else, and in most cases, they are scared that they are not good enough or unloveable. Their advice was this: if I stayits my choice. After all, its so easy for them to not need you. 2.The information that he shares with his parents is less personal as time goes on. Over time he has surpassed my skills in each of these departments and has discovered he enjoys doing this with other hard-core guys, particularly skiing, and almost always leaves me at home. This caused a lot of problems and distance between us emotionally. I met my husband when I was 18 and he was 34 - now I'm best mates with his ex-wife Mother-in-law leaves bridal shop in tears after row with son's wife-to-be I told my best friend I'm trans - 11 . When Im on the course guys always say they wish their girl would come play. Ive supported him went to shows and help sell tickets for it more then once. If the amount of time he puts into making contact with you overshadows his time with his father, mother, or even other women, then hes probably obsessed. Mine owns and trains race horses. It works for a week or two then he goes right back to his obsession. You sound miserable in your marriage. I could have done better getting involved in her passion for her hobbies but was physically and emotionally drained by my work and the conflict in our marriage. Anything that causes someone to spend a massive amount of time away from a relationship creates an imbalance and, puts the other person in a codependent position of accommodating their hobby. Relationships should be about meeting close to the middle when it comes to needs. I sometimes question if cars turn him on more than I do. It just cant be second fiddle anymore and feel like he enjoys playing softball more than he enjoys our time together. Well his schedule has changed and we recently moved close to a course. If he changes the oil in my car, I have to pay for the oil and the filter. We talked to two experts to determine the best way to handle the situation and come out from the discussion with more one-on-one time sans phone. Well his schedule has changed and we recently moved close to a course. Im happy he loves his hobby & yes he told me he still loves me but come on husbands,make time for your spouse too! Our sex life became non-existent within 1 year of our later in life marriage. My husband doesn't require much sleep. It is unrealistic really. He bought me an 8.00 nightgown off Ebay from China for He has made no effort to make my life better nor does he care. She then lies around at home for an hour before going back to the yard to give them lunch. My Best Friends Are Taking Ozempic. Can I Share My Disapproval? I was a bit irritated with this since he didnt talk to me first about it but okay, it makes him happy. But our son has shown us that he can not. Yes, my husband is obsessed with disc golf too. I didnt realize there were so many people in this situation. If I get sick and need something, he ignores me, but if his. At first I was excited for him until 60 days into his obsession, returning accessories for new ones weekly. We took the girls fishing and put on happy faces for the girls but it was very uncomfortable. Of course he just laughs and says Im ridiculous, and that I knew who he was when we got married. I dont think this is exclusively something to do with men. Frankly I dont even try to engage anymore while shes using it. He happened to have my birthday off in August so I thought we could go out to lunch. Selfish jerks dont learn. My problem is that my husband and his sister are obsessed with each other so much so that I want to leave him because he allows her to act like his wife and she does things I don't approve of. I have been battling this same issue with my wife for several months now, and have been going to counseling as we also fight about this very thing (my hobby is yard work though -not disc golf). Nice theory but you are off base. He has very little concept of how much money he spends and how much time he devotes to his obsession. He us a lovely, caring man and I am glad he is my Husband but not at the cost of my individuality. I think what upsets me most is that he is out having fun with people that are half his age. Right now its fishing. There comes a point in a persons passion for their hobby when that passion goes beyond a healthy level of interest. They even rather that hobby than sex, when they get obsessed they truly do. That didnt go very well, he isnt getting done anytime soon and he will never be done coaching High School. alot has change now i feel like Im back in my marriage of 13 years that i had to get away from. What shall I do if my spouse doesnt want to share his hobby with me? Am I being selfish? Once youve established your designated time together every week and decided to start making your own plans outside those days, its time to start investing some of your energy into their hobby. . He has purchased expensive car parts in the middle of the night without telling me and going against my wishes. So not only is he gone all day Monday between work and league but then he wants to play on Saturdays and sundays too. He works from home, and whenever he takes a break its his quotation he turns to. At times he wouldnt come home from car meets until 3am. My husband of 7 years is obssessed with playing softball. Thank you so much for your insight into this important subject. I love cars too. When he comes home on Saturday, he watches golf or sports on TV. I would be delighted to spend more time with my spouse but only if what we are doing is something we both find interesting. He will never change. Im a new bride (older than most and its not my first rodeo). during the week while were at school. People with obsessive ex syndrome always find it difficult to let go. I ask him to go do things together to make sure he knows I want to spend time with him. Most people dont want to give up their wives even when they dont want to bothered with then anymore, and they are usually narcissist. He wakes up in the morning immediately starts messing with his printer. If things don't go their way, they tend to be aggressive or physical. Ensure that you share this article with your loved ones, and leave a comment below to share your thoughts. FAQ And there would still be the issue of wanting to do non-golf things with my partner: breakfast, brunch with friends, daytime stuff! He just wants to be home working. You might find that you share the best conversations or experiences together during these times. I asked him tonight if it was seriously so wrong to ask that he be home for an entire weekend just ONE TIME and he said it was like I am asking him to quit being himself. How sad. So I warn those in similar circumstances to take heed and follow Les and Leslies recommendations. Challenge her gently, too. OMG!!! Actually,you are wrong. It made us intrigued, WE still had hobbies, but you were first on the list. On the rare day she gets the afternoon off, she still has to be back at the yard by 4pm to give them dinner. While it can make life interesting to be married to someone who is so deeply engaged with an activity they love, it can quickly become difficult. . How do you know if your ex is obsessive? How to Manage Teenage Relationships - Serious Adolescent Dating They dont understand its not a womanits mountains, and airplanes, and cars and anything he likes doing. Sometimes, you meet some that match yours, sometimes they exceed yours. I dont know how I will ever believe him when he says he loves me. When he is not playing ball he is at work or sitting his chair playing on his phone or watching tv. He does have high cholesterol at his young age and it had bad. 6) It is common for my husband or boyfriend to stay up past midnight playing video games - and he is often tired the next day as a consequence. No. Just couple weeks ago I tried to have a conversation with him saying we are getting older i LOVE traveling, i love going away on the weekend and going camping, waterfall catching. He works out after work instead of coming straight home b.c he says traffic is so bad it makes more sense to just stay there. I want to be able to belong to the band as an individual, not part of a couple. This seems more like an act of jealousy and control. They don't care how a certain decision makes you feel. Substitute sailing for cars and thats my husband of 20+ years. A lot of times I feel ignored and unimportant, like how or why would he choose these hobbies over me? But he is constantly working on a project in the yard or the house, or garage or shed. Theres always more golf to play and I cant keep up while Im teaching. When we got into our relationship i knew he loved baseball but he also showed me the love and time that i needed to keep going forward with his baseball. Jae Im sorry and know how you fell. It's not easy to confront a phone-obsessed significant other about their usage problem, but it is possible. Once the honeymoon period has passed, you might find that your spouse begins to gradually move toward his or her favorite pastimeeventually favoring it over spending time together. He does beautiful work around our home and is a godsend. Google golf widow or golf divorces and youll realize how big of an issue this is. Im gaining confidence in myself to make the right decision. Also, he gets a bit annoyed because each time I come along he feels he has to watch me, otherwise I would do something inappropriate. Tan France Says Son Is 'Obsessed' with Trucks, Jokes He Somehow 'Raised After the second baby I feel he is not a worker or a provider..but I am. In the context of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), these are extremely common, [1] and can become extremely debilitating, making the person ashamed of the symptoms and reluctant to seek help. Our son hates disc golf and Im starting to too. So I know I ha e gone about it all wrong. There is really a thin line between being in love and being obsessed. She goes to bed at about 9pm. The problem is I give support and even act interested in the cars but he never give support back to me. Even though youre feeling upset, its important to approach your spouse with care. See how close they are and how often they hang out. You can find specific criteria. Now you can go my route and start begging and asking for time and keeping blaming you, and waiting and hoping, but you will have 20 years wasted with only holidays and birthdays and important events with the two you almost seeming like a couple. Both of them if well balanced could sometimes work together. His jobs arent the type where you take your work home to do. No nights out even before covid.hes obsessive with football and old TV things spends up to 3/5 hours watching crap before bed. I just cant get over the resentment. Objectively speaking, excepting one or two demands, most of the other demands and actions of your husband are rather harmless. I despise her because of how she treats me in these scenarios and how it makes me feel and how it impacts our relationship. They both work full time and I dont mind doing things like cooking for my family and keeping things clean. I dont know what to do to resolve this situation. My husband and I stayed at the hospital with our son for 3 weeks and fell back in love. We were harmonious and respectful although he would shut me down when I wanted to discuss the excessive hunting. This is called borderline personality disorder (BPD) in medical terms. Why is it only me making scarifies? My Boyfriend or Husband is Addicted to Video Games I do not feel I am being hard or selfish in any way. There is no doubt he has a talent for it. My wife is a stay at home mom and I work full time 8-5 so the weekday nights are consumed by dinner and the kids. I have to foot all the bills to run our house. Sometimes, the reason they refuse to accept the breakup is that constant denial and seeking of reassurance fuel their obsessive nature. Ive tried writing up a list of the repairs and he says to me who do you think you are giving me orders? Again really?????? I told him that when i agreed he could do league I was under the impression that it would be a once a week thing and that is it. I used to go out there with him cause thats the only way to spend time with him but he will never come in and be with me. He has always had limited funds for his projects and he enjoys doing a lot of the work himself. My husband is also a car fanatic and needs to spend all his extra time and money fixing cars, racing them, dreaming about new projects, pining over the Ferraris (Like well ever have so much money as to be able to afford them! The car obsession got Always alone and its always about the sports/hunting/him. He has mentioned wanting to see a therapist for it and says hes going to, but its been nearly a year and he hasnt done anything. Theyll feel valued because you took the time to step into their happy place, to share that passion for an activity or interest that is obviously very important to them. An obsessive ex may want to know if you have a new partner or who your new love interest is. My husband is very work and performance oriented and is highly intelligent and loves to read, learn and also invent things, so it has been a very lonely marriage for us at times. I think what upsets me most is that he is out having fun with people that are half his age. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. ), and a hell of a lot more. I feel my boyfriend is obsessed with his 9years old son 4 answers / Last post: 02/01/2016 at 9:03 am Anonymous 02/01/2016 at 8:00 am My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and live together. I didnt really realize what was happening. We arent married thank goodness. He has purchased cars without telling me and hid them from me. I didnt get married to be constantly alone. So, I came about to be a relationship advice writer! Im sure she us anticipating what is in the future fir you and this bike. What should I do if my husband is obsessed with me? Adam: "Having disagreements about spending in a relationship is hardly bullying, it is natural and unavoidable and has happened since the dawn of money . Because he was building my fence. I dont have the answer for you, but I would give you this advice.dont marry him until this is resolved. Basically his cigs and gas. I agreed to that because after all, he deserves to have a hobby. Everybody has a different sexual drive and orientation. She has a 8yo and we have a 4 month old. Now we live separately I have my house. I have told him many times, the Cardinals, Blues, etc will not care or even have a moment of silence when he passes,. I dont mind spending time alone when hes working or playing golf, but I would like the time we do have together to be quality time and it isnt. When we were dating it was a computer game and as silly as it sounds, it came down to me or the game because he would invite me over to watch a movie but he would sit at his computer and game out while I was supposed to watch the movie. So when we I dread to think the amount of money hes spending. My wife tolerates it, and I really wish she would at least be somewhat supportive. So they constantly stalk you hoping that one day they can either witness your heartbreak or get back with you to hurt/harm you. When WE (ALL MEN)lol.asked you to be OUR wife, it was because you were busy not worrying about us. Would I marry him again? Think about that. The 3 Stages of a Dangerously Obsessive Ex | Psychology Today Fuming about your husband or wife taking time for their hobby isnt going to do you any good, so find ways to enjoy yourself instead. I do all the laundry, work in our office (invoices, organize jobs, make calls, enter all job information, emails, pay invoices, do the taxes, etc.) Sometimes the greatest times of connection youll have with your spouse are when you purposefully step into his or her passion and spend a little time there instead of fighting against it. etc. I am home all the time other than those few hours a day. So WHY did he want to get married? Interactions are based on a pre-written script . He is always telling me how he has all these chores or things to do, but guess what? What should I do if my husband is obsessed with me? - Quora I dont mind him being into cars, I just think he has an obsessive personality that if its not cars, it would be work, or binge watching shows (which he has spent a lot of time doing since giving up his cars). Yes, my husband is a car fanatic, maxed out on credit cards due to expensive car parts, car shows, etc. He played all growing up and then went out of country to play baseball semi-pro. Yes, please! What I need is a way to cope. My husband is obsessed with his 12 year old son. I met him OH well. I raised the kids alone, tried working to fill the gaphelped our family members pass to the other sideand now in my 50s Im lonelier than ever. I need to make her feel more important than any project. We have now been married for 11 years and have two daughters ages 7 and 5. My husband has always enjoyed playing disc golf but due to his work schedule he was never really able to play much. My boyfriend of 7 years is a baseball freak/obsessed/fantasizes baseball. He is so closed to life, we never travel together, he stays home to watch sports. I will follow Susan and ask the same question. We spend no time together . We began discing everyday. Being pregnant I find myself getting emotional more and more because Im worried for our marriage and future child. You could decide to move to a new city and they would gladly follow suit. Ive had 30 plus years of being overlooked by the great out doors.We now live seperate lives cos he took my request for him to back down a little on the hours,days and weeks out and about, as a demand to stop completely. Tough tough one. Or whether he has active Tinder or dating profile? I finished my graduate program went back to work as a teacher. I love this book so much that when I was only 40% into my Kindle version, I ordered this collectors edition hardcover to have as well. Health, social security, possible l/2 pension, This weekend was the first time in a year we managed to get away for more than a few hours; I managed to get her away for 2 nights. Women who are unhappy in their marriages. We will be married l0 yrs in 2021 and he can go as I will qualify for survivorship benefits on SS. I cant stand it anymore when he talks about them. 1. I joined a samba band and we are well into the gigging season. He says just tell me when & well go. My husband is the one that hates it. When someone is obsessed with you, he wants you all for himself, and limits your potential and opportunities, love on the other hand is supportive and has a lot to do with sharing. Fast forward about thirty years and we are still in the same situation. They are all 20-25 without kids and families and he is pushing 40. After 20 years, he still doesnt get it. He asked if he could join a disc golf league where they play every Monday night. He buys the stuff and sells if for more to make a profit but he has always spent more time on the phone and iPad looking at stuff day in and day out, he goes to this show of shows in St. Louis and meets up in this big arena of old guys selling there stuff. My body completely shut down and I was forced to quit for almost a year to regain strength and health. Has NOTHING t do with sex. I can relate to so many here. Absolutely not. All kinds of things go through my head, I am scared that our marriage is over. As silly as it sounds, it is ruining our marriage and its breaking my heart. Met the turd i was 23 he was going on 33now hes 62 this year.obsessive at first about money was really nice for a good few years sort of I had two boys hes no kids. My feelings are hurt, I thought this was our thing. Ive started therapy. We can skip down the yellow brick road together hand in hand, forever and ever amen.Ill leave it there, Im sure you get the point. My wife is obsessed with dressage. This was very sad to read especially because I am a Dad, Husband, Science Teacher, Veteran, and yes a CAR GUY. His father is very cruel and sys many verbal things to us. Little do they know the bullying that goes on behind the scenes to their mother. I would watch him pack up his miltary collection which he left in the middle of the hallway as a reminder to us that he was leaving us. He wont help himself or eat well at all. I am not hugely successful, but I have had a good deal of things published, won a major award, and my writing has been solicited by publishers. I do love him but I do think he loves himself more. This tool will do just that and pull up any hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more to hopefully help put your doubts to rest. 'I found lacy underwear in my husband's car - Metro So I sit and wait (for his one or two days home)in the same house, wondering if new paint would cheer me up. Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? This guide suggests nine examples of an ex going too far in his communications with you. To the entire group. How To Stop Obsessing Over An Ex: A Five-Step Solution When he returns, I ask him about his walk. Although he obtains sponsorship money to fund most of the event costs, it still seems to dip into our coffers. Their opinion was that I suffer abandonment issues and CPTSD. Do not even think of ending your life because of such events. Theres never a full weekend where hes just at home with the family and Im beyond sick of it. This tool will give you the biggest clue as to how your ex is getting on, and dont worry, its 100% discreet. If you ask me, I'd say obsession doesn't let you breathe, while love makes you flourish. I know the art is an addiction and family should be #1 but I feel so unfulfilled doing family stuff. Fast forward now. Perhaps men are giving time to these hobbies because wives deny sex. In this case, youre not dealing with a human being thats rational. It was honestly so boring to me but this was the only way I could spend time with him. It feels like hes my Dad sometimes. A proven selfish, self centered, bully who believes hes this great guy and loves the IMAGE his friends think hes a zillionaire. Hell make attempts to contact you no matter the distance and the cost. The solution is to talk to them and if that doesnt work try to distance from them.

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