i regret leaving my wife for my gf update
I myself am a good looking man that keeps in very great shape with a very good personality, and i still get rejected by women. ind a therapist and do some deep soul searching. She hasnt made love to me in months and says its because of her body. I also know that Ive given my wife the very best years of my life. I will pray that you make the right choice. I had to keep telling myself holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. So I did myself a favor and forgave. I am convinced there is something better out there for you whether its a new love or a new adventure. We live as roommates no physical intimacy and very little emotional closeness. The fact is that we all are enforced since youth to believe the marriage (et similar) have to last forever in any case but it is not the truth for real life. Following up on my Jan 2017 post: We were what each of us wanted Glad we didnt listen to people. Do you still love him? Put your cards on the table face up. Last year I came to learn that he was emotionally involved with a previous work colleague he had with 20 years ago..that is what he said Like an open book. He was flawed and may not have even loved her anymore. How was it? I should have left him long ago, but I stayed and hoped it wouldnt happen again. I want to be able to sit in a bench with him all wrinkly, gray haired (maybe even wheel-chaired) & still laugh about old times. Sure, our kids are important, and we are protective and want all those normal great things for them, but our mates are important too. These affairs are nothing but selfishness. What do I do?-We have no children-I feel so alone-sometimes I think its better just to I thought that I was going to be over the moon now but something that was missing even when I felt happy. Its always the same pressure, often with a religious motive, to stay married and here it is again from you and what do any of really know about this mans marriage, really. They were good together. Good luck to you both. Just to be able to say look, we succeeded we didnt get divorced. Yes, fine, burned them all although I was so sad and said, I will wait for you for 10 years. If not, then its something you must carry on your own and not give to others who dont need it! After 45 years of marriage and several years of therapy, Ive learned its never one persons fault in an affair and Im not talking just about the other person. After awhile, I said I would go to 50% and he said 45% which pissed me off so I said I wouldnt take any less than 55%. Even if it is not sex, but true, honest to God, sincere love (as in my case, the I dont want to live without you love) you MUST do the right thing for your wife, regardless of her faults, which might be very real. Theres the inevitably end of that perfect moment. I read an article recently by a therapist that talked about marriage and its failure is partly due to our health and longevity. I can talk to her without about anything and not feel like I am walking on eggshells. I couldnt agree more! Like orgasm. Well Angeline, its common that most marriages are built on conservative and traditional values. I spoke with my brother today about this. Its a commitment. There were many red flags along the way, but I didnt trust my intuition until later, so I refused to see what was in plain sight. If so, Im so sorry to hear that. My wife knows I am friends with this woman but has no idea I am in love with her. Kim. Long story short, she NEVER came clean, ever. As a man I need to feel wanted by the other party and at the moment my wife doesnt give me that feeling so its easy for me to suddenly feel I want to move away to this woman that gives me those feelings. If youre happy why would you want to. The mans wife has MS. And he should be caring for her, not looking out for someone else. I would never let her suffer, she works 32 hours a week at her church and doesnt make much money. That aside, most disturbing is the way your list portrays this fictional woman to be so saintly. *Fear of the future. And our exes seem happier now to. You Jen and that men are both disloyal and putting your self first, without any shame if your not living up to societys expectations it puts on you about acceptable behaviour. Your man card is also revoked. Eventually, that part of yourself will fire back up again and you will come back to your senses. I have purchased dancing lessonsbut she would not go. 15 happy years. Turned it out she cared more for me than she was ever telling or showing me that she did. But will it always be that way, I doubt it. Ive been involved in both. I had concerns about that, we both did, but weve been so happy for the last 11 years and solid. so in summary, look inwards. Bill, move on. Its an antiquated idea, that has not been revised for the changes in equality, the roles of women & the life expectancy of humans in the modern world. I am SO GLAD my mom and dad divorced; they made each other miserable, they fought constantly, and nobody was happy. Than when all else fails then move on. Reddit, Inc. 2023. God bless you @Ready to Go and all friends here who also exhausted and suffered of living in a marriage and have a plan to get divorce. I have beaten myself up for not being stronger and more independent. Married man here, 53 years of age, 25 years into this marriage. Everything I did as a wife was because I thought it was the right thing to do and the best thing for my family. Chip. Sadness, anger, denial, resentment, revenge, fearthe emotional ride is bewildering and can rock mental stability. By the sounds of it, it was worth it. Im happier than I ever imagined I could be, after years of depression. 5. when you are tired or stressed, i become your friend & counselor as well as your masseuse even when i am already tired from all the activity during the day taking care of the household. Her pride has always been her dearest possession, I moved out a week later, to Ana. I told her I loved her five days after I met her. At the end of the day, it comes down to two people making a personal commitment with each other to keep the love alive; to listen, and to also be heard. And now, they too need to get to work and find their own personal truth and joy. You cant travel all around the world and constantly leave your spouse. And when it does, it will throw everyone involved off kilter and into shock and confusion about how to proceed. An emotional affair is when a married or committed partner turns to an individual outside of the partnership to fulfill emotional needs. Lately she has been leaving all day driving my step son to go work with some family friend while her and her mother (doesnt like me) go out all day and I clean the house and take care of the animals and yard. He has had many affairs, he wont leave , he lies and he always say to death do us apart. We have two daughters together. Last year I sat him down and spoke from my heart, how I was feeling, unloved, not respected, not cherished etc but just felt I wa just there to run the house and take and drop our 2 teenagers here there and everywhere. Fast forward to almost a year ago when she came back to her home state where I live. Our whole marriage, Ive always considered how any decision would affect us, as a couple, not just myself. He didnt cherish her the way she deserved. If youve been having an emotional affair on and off for all those years, you have not been investing in your current relationship/marriage. She is 20 years your junior, thats a huge age difference and you may find once living in couple, its not all its cracked up to be when a 32 year old wants to go to a club and you want to stay home or she wants to go out with her girls alone in 5 years (if you make it that long) and she doesnt want to take her 57 year old partner with her dancing with the girls. Sounds like my ex wife , her dream was to be a stay at home mom. Why would I want to be with someone who doesnt want me? Then lay out for her exactly what is important to you. Maybe shes onyl staying in the marriage due to financial vulnerability. You continue distancing yourself from this women quietly. Long story short I left my ex-wife on a whim and ended up hating my life. I was prepared to care for you for the rest of your life even if no one wants you anymore. Its interesting that so many people out there are hurting so badly that they question the authenticity of others happiness. The trick the longer you pursue a relationship the harder and harder it gets to break it off. And the 1st one confronted me to reveal everything to my husband unless I obey all his rules. Thank you for sharing your comment. A right to be happy with a younger wife rather than a wife there own age. From my perspective, happiness is an internal condition. *Acceptance and rebuilding. Im starting to look at my husband differently and these questions are starting to nag me: im not trying to criticize anyone but this is how i may feel someday. I know because I have done this for 23yrs. I found out 2 years ago that my husband has been having an affair with a He is possessive and controlling and manipulative. Im sure she has heard that same story youve told at every f**king dinner party for 25 years but instead of rolling her eyes she laughs along with everyone else to make you feel like a man. I would rather not know. I just remember that he might be had all my details so can track me like that. that is considered disrespect and irresponsible. How would I feel if my husband left me for a younger woman? Her pride has always been her dearest possession, I moved out a week later, to Ana. When I married my husband I promised all of my romantic energy to him-emotionally as well as physically. what you feel or do not feel, are not entirely voluntary. I was used to be with my daughters every day and now I see them only half the time. I agree with many that this gentleman should avoid the rebound trap and should have his own place to live and enjoy being a bachelor for at least two more years. I have been suffocating for the past five years. Something he tried to tell me we did, which was not true. They cant go two weeks without a blowout and him walking out, her begging him to come back. Even if nothing has happened yet, there is a very real possibility that could change very quickly. I was the one who asked her out, and first two years into our relationship she confessed to me that she had liked me for at least a year before I asked her out. I hear you so loud and clear. However, dont confess. So who is right ? I dont think there is any easy way to leave a relationship but it can be done with honour and care even if it lands on deaf ears at least you can hold your head up with pride. Hey Billyou are seeking joy and happiness but you will end up with only guilt if you leave. Its a competitive attitude every man for himself in the real world, type attitude your displaying. I have been numb in our marriage, I love and respect my spouse but did not feel in love, did not feel much at all but having a good friend and companion. I thought it was me missing my children and my home. I feel it is time to leave, but I riddled with guilt. But should she really be married to a man who is falling in love with other women? I accomplished all my duties with my family and several times I needed a bit more intimacy with my wife. After 32 Years, I'm Ready to Leave My Wife and Take a Chance Oh I know the devastation too well then recovery is a b tr. Ann, the only good advise youve given here is to do some soul searching. Of course a younger more attractive woman who sounds charming to is more fun than a middle age woman like your wife(your middle wife). I want to leave my life, but I just dont know how to do this the least painful way for her. A man takes care of his family and finds joy in surmounting the challenges of mid-life. One unique difference from these boards is that I was the male domestic stay-at-home Dad, and I was able to make decent money from home in a high demand industry averaging perhaps 12 hours a week. This guy is just now her best Friend . lol People are scumbags! This world is so sick that I would like to be dead when I hear this type of crap. Even so, the man has a right to pursue his happiness. While youve broken it already- its never too late to get back on track. She is never in a good mood and complains constantly! ALWAYS. I dont understand. This guy is a real complete loser altogether if he really decides to do this, and there are many of us single men that wouldve really loved to be married with a wife and family if given that chance. My suspicions grew when I happened to see the I miss you and I love you texts going to her phone and I finally lost it. I suppose my best advice for you Ready to Go is to slow down. to share rare moments of happiness? Now another Christmas is approaching. I write this not for feedback but for therapy. That lady is the queen of your life. She was the opposite of my shy and calm wife. I dont want a mansion or the nice cars. People dont like to say it like it is. Jackie G., Im sad for you. They were not words that were supposed to bind you in misery. When my wife gets upset, it is weeks, not days of anger. People who are truly happy learn to let go of their attachments. You carry an unusual amount of bitterness about the topic, and bias toward poor middle aged women who get left behind. They might not even know how deeply unhappy they are until an affair sneaks up on them, and next thing they know they are in love. I also said I wanted alimony until his pension kicked in. As anyone who has ever purchased a new car can attest, the newness of the car is exciting. My advice to you is; stop what you are doing to your wife, the one that has been there for all those years, in good and bad. A place where Wikimaniacs can share stories and respond to other stories :) Advertisement Coins 0 coins Premium Powerups Explore Gaming However I made a short message and thats probably the best a man can do in such an awkward situation. It turns out that the infatuation which he thought was the most amazing love of his life soon wore off. First thanks Marian and Ginger I appreciate the professional and direct way in which you gave advice. I still have access to his phone records and voice mail, I never listen to the VM because I never want to hear her voice. Let them break up with you. She was the opposite of my shy and calm wife. Details are revealed, there is anger, guilt, humiliation, shock, grief, uncertainty about the future and a whole host of emotions happening all at once. Thats why Im convinced we are vulnerable in stale safe responsible marriages. I do not have a girlfriend and have never cheated on her, even in an emotional needing to get away. A month after I found out that my husband had a girlfriend, my brother passed away from cancer. A solid year of lies and denials. He starts a conversation pointing out the fact that we havent created our dreams together etc.etc. I thought it was me missing my children and my home. Waking up without makeup, what shes like when shes cranky and irritated. It is a huge risk to be in that kind of relationship. Its true about sleeping dogs. Only for a couple of minutes a day does the memory of my 1st wife, kids, and family leave my mind. Do you support cheating husbands who chase younger women to be happy, do you support the young nanny home wrecker who has affairs with older men, does the nanny have rights according to you? I am married 8 years. Now, suddenly youve been unhappy for years. Hes a good dad, he regrets a lot but the man I married would have never done such a selfish thing and hurt so many people. It was a traditional marriage that lasted over 60 years. They all will say they are not happy and have a miserable home life to get a 40 something year old that says she looks 30, really. I thought the quality would be better than this. Hope you all are brave enough to find your bliss. Ive left three time here in the last three years for tow to three months at a time but seem to always come back that start feeling I came back for all the wrong reasons. Im not saying to those that are deeply miserable it must continue, but what I am saying is the same as others, look at the WHOLE picture, and what you stand to lose by making the jump, if you must make the jump dont do it for another woman, dont do it for any reason than yourself. Rose had his back. This is now 18 months later. Relationships later in life are much easier. Hard to say if she can change, that maybe a long road with no guarantees. Stay interesting. Its amazing to me, I watch women push their men aside, and then blamed for leaving! Really?!?!?!? I really love my husband , I really want to save my marriage. ms, I just read this. I saw no personal shame in Saras response. Start the legal process to separate/divorce whatever that looks like. Just let each other know that youve got their back. He told her it was over and that he couldnt see her or talk to her anymore. I was used to be with my daughters every day and now I see them only half the time. Happiness is key in life and if I am not Happy my wife is not she is better of without me , sick of making her sad and I am sick to my stomach of not living , I am 52 and I see a lot of people getting sick and passing and that have never lived.. am I a coward if I leave?
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